I didn’t think that I would feel this way. I wrote yesterday about seeing goodbye in her eyes….. It wasn’t that I saw them, it was more about what I felt in my heart. To say I am at peace isn’t completely the case but it’s pretty close. To say that I am satisfied, I’m not, but I have accepted the situation enough to move forward. This alone is a tremendous step for me. Almost a milestone accomplishment.
When to stay or when to move on, is an issue of the heart and mind and both need to be of the same accord. It took a long time for my heart to catch up to my mind. All the questions of why me? How could it happen? What didn’t i do right? Only to realize, it wasn’t just me.
I share in the blame for sure, my own wrongs, failures, disappointments. But for her to fail to acknowledge her part, is unacceptable. It truly is time to move forward, with hope and a future before me. What next is before me and I will find the one who truly loves me the way that I should be loved.