Facebook- Keeping it real fake!

Facebook is a means to an end. We use FB to share our thoughts, ideas, inspirations, feelings, troubles, truth, lies, issues, concerns, triumphs and all the other emotions, opinions, and positions in between. The power of FB and other mediums just like it have morphed into arenas where many spend tremendous amount of time sharing. I have personally witnessed both the joys and pain of personal interactions on FB. Is it personal though if you interact behind the computer, not engaging in person or on the phone? I only tread lightly on this particular point, because I have witnessed how shrewd people have become, or maybe they already were, and I have just noticed it. How petty issues become big issues, how trust and fidelity are exposed, and truth questioned.  How friendships quickly come and go on FB, and in some cases how FB, like a dating website has brought individuals together, and certainly have torn them apart. I have had to deal with the pain of finding out about secret relationships on FB, and how that affected me personally.

A counselor suggested that in a previous relationship that we maintain a joint account, rather than separate, to be united rather than divided, that FB could have the potential for harm as well as good, but we both needed to be on the same page.  What I liked about that scenario is that we discussed it, in person, face to face.  Unfortunately, too much happens behind the screen, and we lack the ability to reach out and truly connect in person.  I’m not bashing FB here, I admire the platform, the  creativity, the vision. It’s users are the ones I am concerned about. While I have one finger pointed out to the others , I have 3 pointing right back at me, so I’m in this boat too.  My plea is that we don’t lose sight of the ability to reach out and connect with others,  human to human, touch, feel, speak.

In this age of modern technology, let’s not lose sight of what’s truly important. IMHO, it’s your faith, and intentional relationships. Your faith is between you and your God (or however you describe it). Intentional relationships take hard work and effort, like any marriage, dating relationship, and the like. It requires commitment on either side, not always 50/50, but consistent commitment.

We see it everywhere, individuals sitting next to each other texting away, not speaking, and life goes on.  I’m guilty of it too, I have changes to make, isn’t this what resolutions are about?  Keeping it real or keeping it fake is up to me. keeping it real or fake amongst my friends, is 50% up to me. I can only control me, right??

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Dealing with the past, facing the future

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I never imagined myself to be in this position, not a year ago.  A year ago I was visiting my family and enjoying a different kind of life, married life.   A life that wasn’t perfect, but I had a family with children, though not my own, in my heart, I felt that they were.  I’m not covering all the details here, but suffice to say, it didn’t work out for a variety of reasons. The kind of reasons that seem to be the worse kind, at the time, and then I learn how unfortunately all too common, my circumstances were.

The toughest part for me,  was that I fell hard when I realized it was all over. I believed that this was the one, whom I would spend my life with, much like Rascal Flats’s Bless the Broken Road, I thought the all the crooked paths led me strait to her.

Hindsight is truly 20/20, all the signs, the friends, that soft still inner voice, all red flags on what not to do, yet love is blind.  Starting over has not been fun, its been really hard, to self evaluate, and determine how to move on, and start again.  I’m not sure I am completely there yet, I still have a lot to process, the why me, and how could it happen, why did it happen???

The Cardinal Rules, at least in this depiction, have some fundamental truths, that are important for all of us, and it’s not just about relationships. Its about life in general, I just applied them to this painful past relationship that has taken a lot out of me, and I am just putting all the pieces back together for a more healthier me, for me.

I have lots of good friends both near and far, and I am starting over, in my new place. This hasn’t been the easiest, but in many ways more rewarding because I am truly out of my comfort zone.  It has forced me to take action, where I am truly unknown, and few friends to reach out to, other than co-workers. This is the  first time that I am really on my own, separate from college and living across the state from my family.  Now my blood family is 2000 miles away in any direction.  I have had some good counseling, shoulders to lean on, others to cry on, and while I recognize 2013 was a crazy difficult year, it has made me stronger.

I’m divorced but I don’t use that moniker to define me, its not my ethnicity. Making peace with my past has been the most difficult part in going through this whole experience. I wanted to tell everyone how I had been wronged, I felt ashamed, disappointed with all that I had gone through, how would I, how could I move on??  It still requires effort not to lash out, not to want to cause damage, expose the lies, etc. but is it worth it truly?  Will that solve or fix what has happened? Will I get the honest answers?

Many months back I decided that I just needed to move forward, whether I was ready or not, whether I felt like it or not.  I am so glad that I took that first step, with encouragement from friends.  I now find myself in such a better place, with so many options, and ways to start enjoying life.  Isn’t that what we all seek, to enjoy life. I think these Cardinal Rules will help me, help us, do just that.

4 Deer, Max & I

I was getting ready to take Max for his morning stroll, when I gazed upon the valley in which we would walk. To my surprise in this vast array of homes along a man made valley, were 4 deer. They were no doubt grazing upon the berries and grasses in the field, out of the way of the sidewalks and the homes on either side, it was though surprising to me.

I have always been enamored with wildlife up close, eagles, deer, raccoons, on occasion snakes, mammals and amphibians. This was no exception, though I know in many parts of the country, and even here, mule deer are considered a pest, and bull elk, though majestic, the same way.

I prepared Max for the walk, and as we exited the home, and made our way to the valley.  I remembered yesterday seeing deer tracks or so I thought.  My suspicions now confirmed, though they were grazing later than I expected, as it was time for work, I thought!  As Max and I started down the path, the crunching of the ice beneath my feet, from the snow the day before, I surely thought this would sound the alarm to the deer and off they would go.  I even saw a few do just that down the gulch of this man made valley, we would commonly call a drainage ditch. I crunched along as Max smelled scents left behind that only he could sense and as we came to the curve, I realized that we were in a staring match with one of the deer, the one without the horns….I’m sure there is a correct word for this, but I suggested to Max that we turn around. I figured they needed to graze, I didn’t want to impede upon them, they  were there first, right??

We reversed course, back towards home, I occasionally glanced to see if they were still there or not, they were, like Custer’s Last Stand…  Good for them, and good for us, that we can cohabitate in the area we call home.  Max and I of course made it home without incident, I wasn’t expecting any.  I glanced again, wondering if they made it down to the next valley, across the road into the next development….I think I saw one or two near with the others having moved on.  My morning walk, now made that much more enjoyable, with a sighting of a bit of nature and Max and I.

Football and I….

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I have typically held football at more than an arm’s length away, really most sports. I played little league football and baseball, but I just didn’t have the skills that everyone else had, or maybe I just didn’t take the time.  Perhaps because of those circumstances, I didn’t become an aficionado of sports as I had other interests at heart. Music, Scouts, Explorers, YMCA, travel, and other interests.  I  had the opportunity to see the Tampa Bay Bucs and Miami Dolphins at their stadiums, and I have met a few professional players over the years, but it was just a Sunday afternoon interest, and most times not that important.  Growing up I also watched the Pittsburgh Steelers because of the connection the Rooney family had with the community in which I grew up, as distant as it was from Pittsburgh.

This past year however, football has become a big interest to me.  Maybe it’s because I live in Denver, and Bronco fever is everywhere, maybe because it’s Peyton Manning, and the great quarterback that he is, and what he personally stands for, that I am aware of, either way, I have become a more aware fan and not just for the Broncos, but also those that stand in the way of their goals and dreams. I have had the great opportunity to attend a few Bronco games via friends, and I am grateful for those opportunities, tickets come at a premium, and I have some great friends!

So now I feel I have the “bug” for football. Not crazy stuff like deck my room in the team colors, and change all  my utensils to orange and blue, though I like the FL Gators too, for many reasons, but all the same, I am a more intentional fan.  Tonight I was hoping the Ravens would win, that the Patriots would lose and that the Cowboys would win, but alas, like so many, I don’t get what I want.  I even had to pay a very small wager to a friend when I was certain the Broncos would win over the Colts, much to my chagrin….oh well.

So, the bottom line is this. I am not a football expert. I don’t have ESPN Red Zone piping into my smart phone….yet., I don’t play FF, but I will next year, but this time next year, I will be a totally different football fan, and I can’t wait to see what 2014 brings in my direction!

In the beginning…..

Image For years I have thought about writing a blog, and I have kept thinking about it until today. Today  I decided to get started and actually do something about it!  I have a lot of ideas of what I want to share, but I promise you, I will keep it real!  I am grateful for my European heritage, my upbringing, and my experiences, my faith, my journey, if you will. They all have made me who I am today, and in time, I will share some of that here, but more importantly, I press on! My grammar may not be perfect, my sentence structure out of whack, but all of that and more, will just show you, I am just keeping it real!  2013 was a crazy year for me in so many ways; relationships, career, faith, friendships, interests, and new directions.  I’m looking forward to this blog, learning how to improve, build, sharing, and meeting new friends. Like I have written, I have a lot of ideas to share and a lot of interests as you will soon see. I look forward to you joining me on my journey, I have nothing to lose and so much to gain!

Sharing life experiences, my journey, and keeping it real

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